Tammy McMullen | Stress
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Stress Tag

Yep, I am still here

web100-6143I know, I know…it has been way too long since I have written anything! Believe me, I have so many things to say and to update you on. But time is not my friend right now! I need about 5 more hours in a day or the ability to not have to sleep would be great too!

So what has been going on in the McMullen world you may ask? Well here is a short list:

  • Packing, sorting, purging, packing, sorting, purging…you get the drift right? It just hit me last night that our moving truck is being loaded in 2 short weeks. Yikes! I probably shouldn’t be sitting here writing this, but well you know!
  • Trying to finish work out, and get everything transitioned well.
  • Running my 3 kids from here and there and then back again.
  • Getting ready for a garage sale and running that for 2 days – thank goodness that is over!
  • Running a household, or at least doing the best I can right now.

web100-6071Then There Is California:

  • Helping Daryl make decisions on housing in CA – hallelujah that is over! Talk about stress beyond belief…yeeks! The good news though, we have a place to live in Cali!
  • Trying to get schools figured out and make sure we have everything in place for that transition now.
  • Starting the process of cancelling things here and getting things started there.
  • Figuring out what furniture we are taking with us and what we are leaving here. This part absolutely makes my brain hurt!
  • Trying to get times scheduled for my kids to have some one-on-one time with their friends before we depart.
  • Still trying to be a good friend and spend time with those I love! One thing I want to make sure of is that I don’t look back on these last few weeks here and wish I would have spent more time with friends!
  • Wondering what kind of moving materials we need to make sure the furniture we are taking makes it in one piece.
  • Do we really have to find a whole new bank? Yeah, we really do, but because our credit union has shared branches out there we can hold off on that for a bit longer.
  • Getting ready to go to DC with Rachel for her 8th grade trip. To be honest, I am kind of looking forward to a break from my life right now…even if it is with a bunch of middle schoolers!
  • Doing my best to not forget what it is like to be married – to say it has been a very rough last couple of weeks would be an understatement! There are so many feelings floating around for both of us right now, but I will save that for another blog post.
  • Did I mention packing, sorting purging? Oh yes, yes I did 🙂

With all the things on my to do list I have barely had time to think about how I am feeling! Most days I think I am doing ok, and then I decide to take all the pictures off my family room wall, and that sends me into a mini melt down!

I know without a shadow of a doubt that the next few weeks are going to hard on so many levels. All I can do is hold on to God with all I have right now and continue to trust that we are following His plan for our lives!

Until next time friends, just remember…it won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it!

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Well, my day was worse than yours!

web100-5612These last 2 weeks have been rough! Well, if I am being completely honest they have just down right sucked. I am trying hard to stay positive, keep my head above water and not just end up mad at the world. Some days I do better than others, but man am I ready for some normalcy!

We had a great Spring Break. Florida was good to us. We had time to rest, relax, laugh, spend time with friends, soak up some sun and forget about the chaos that is our life right now. It did our whole family good! It felt normal and right to all be together, but boy it didn’t take long once we got home for life to kick back in. Ty spent the 2 nights before Daryl went back to CA crying himself to sleep, because he didn’t want his Daddy to leave. Yes, that ripped a hole in my heart. Then Rach said at dinner the night before he left that it just felt weird having Dad home. And there went the hole in Daryl’s heart!

As soon as Daryl went back to CA (just 2 weeks ago) life kicked into over drive. One kid in track at her school, with practice before school every morning and 2 meets a week. Two kids in travel soccer which means 3 days a week of practice and then games on the weekends. Last week I was in Ohio and Lafayette, IN for games. And this weekend I’m in Indianapolis, IN and Kalamazoo, MI. I Feel bad that I can’t see all of their games, but it just isn’t humanly possible! Add in, trying to schedule driving lessons for the eldest, upcoming spring choir concerts, work getting crazy busy for me in the next 3 weeks (with 3 nights that I will have to be away from home), trying to go through the house and get ready for a garage sale, packing, finalizing details on a moving company, keeping up with my house (inside and out), trying to be mom and dad to the kids, looking for houses in CA and the list just goes on and on. To say I am barely hanging on some days would be an understatement.

As the stress creeps in I can feel it pulling at both Daryl and I. It gets really easy to get frustrated at each other because they just don’t understand what the other one is going through. You start to feel like your needs aren’t being met, that the other person really doesn’t care and is to caught up in their own life to have any sympathy for you. Deep down you know none of this is really true, but it doesn’t stop the feelings from being there. Then you don’t talk as much as you should, you let days go by without really having a conversation. The texts are just questions, or information that needs to be given. After someone vents about their day the other person says “Oh yeah, well I have to do yada yada yada, and my day sucked even worse.” It’s a vicious cycle and one I am not proud of, but I am convinced that it’s what happens when you live across the country from each other. It’s easy to get mad and frustrated and stay that way when you don’t see the person every day. Now, don’t worry, Daryl and I are just fine! This is what marriage is… the good, the bad and all the in between! It’s real life! What I do know is that we will come out of this time having learned some lessons. And one of the big ones for me is DON’T live apart from your spouse!

As much as I may not want June to come as quickly as it is, I NEED June to come!

I need this part of the transition to be over!

I need help from my other half.

I need my family back to together again!

 

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