ARE YOU SURE GOD?
Moving across the country is an easy decision right? You apply for a job, you interview, the offer comes and as long as all the numbers add up and you know you can make it work. So it’s an easy “yes” right? After all, you were the one who started looking. You decided that you were ready for a change. You knew you wanted to be someplace warm. You knew that it would mean a move for your family. But an easy decision?? Not at all! Actually, it is one of the hardest decisions we have made!
I knew that this decision wasn’t just up to us. I knew that in order for us to make the best decision, God had to be apart of the equation. I will admit, I have had times in my life when I feel really close to God, and I have also had times where I feel pretty far away from Him. Even in those time where I felt far away, I have never questioned my beliefs. I know that God exists, I know that He wants to be a part of our lives, I know that He loves us and is for us and listens to us. But I get lazy sometimes, I let life get in the way and I stop praying on a regular basis. I made a commitment to myself last year that I would turn the radio off in my car every morning and I would pray. I have a pretty regular routine most mornings so I knew this would get me in the habit of praying again, and it did.
As the opportunity at Mariners started to fall into place, I found myself praying quite often. I really didn’t have any desire to move to Cali. It was too far away and way too expensive. I was pretty sure that there was no way that God was going to send us there. Again, He knew what was best for us, and we hadn’t even really discussed living in CA? As things got more real and it seemed that Cali was a viable option, I found myself feeling the need to pray at random times throughout the day. I remember waking up one night in the middle of night, and just felt God telling me to pray. I didn’t really know why I needed to pray, or for what, but that had never happened to me before. To be honest, I still don’t know exactly why I was woken up like that, but I learned that I needed to act on those nudges that I was getting.
Before Daryl and I made our trip to Cali in August to interview and check the area out, I felt God tell me to “Trust Him.” Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t hear an audible voice. He didn’t write that in the sky for me. As I was praying one day, those words just came to me and I knew it was God. Before this, I had only had one other time in my life when I felt God “talk” to me like that. Ok, I get it God – you are here and listening. You are asking me to trust you. Ok, makes sense, I get it. But again I really don’t want to move that far away. I actually asked God to close doors in Cali. Yep, I admit it, I did! If doors were closed, it would be an easy decision right? God didn’t do that though, he actually did the exact opposite.
We felt like every door we walked through while we were in Cali just felt right. I remember as we were driving around thinking, “Ok, maybe we could do this.” But again doubt crept in. I thought about our kids, I thought about our family and friends, I thought about how expensive it is, I thought about how hard it would be to pick our lives up and move here. I came back to, “I don’t really think I want to do this, this is scary…really scary!”
One day as Daryl was interviewing I decided to walk the campus at Mariners. As I walked, I prayed about how scared I was feeling. I had probably walked the same path about 4 times already, but all the sudden I found myself tripping over something, and literally fell into the bushes. I took a quick inventory. “Nope, no one was around to watch me make a fool out of myself,” so I continued on. The next time I came upon that spot, I slowed down my pace and my brain for just a couple of seconds to make sure it didn’t happen again, and these two words stirred in my soul: “Be Brave!”
At this point, there was no denying it. As much as I didn’t think this is what I wanted to do, I knew for a fact that this is what God was asking us to do. I tell my kids all the time to listen to God and follow His path for their lives. Could I really do the exact opposite, when I knew what God was asking us to do? I knew the answer was no. I knew I needed to trust him and be brave! To be honest, I still don’t know why God is calling us to Cali. I would love to think it is for the nice weather, ocean and palm trees. But I am pretty sure that isn’t the case 🙂 For now, I am just believing that His ways are better than mine, trying to remember that He loves my family more than I do, and letting my Faith Be Bigger Than My Fear!