friends Tag

OH, CHANGE!

Change is an interesting and imminent word! Some love it and some hate it. I get that because when I look at pictures of my kids from this long ago I hate it, but when I think about the amazing young women and men they are growing up to be – I love it! For some people just hearing the word change sends them into cold sweats and makes them want to run for the hills. Then there is the other group that loves change, they find it exhilarating, they like it be right in the middle of it as much as possible and they crave the chaos that change can at times bring. Throughout my life I have seen people on both sides, and I am a true believer that living in either extreme just isn’t good for anyone.

I have seen how people deal with and react to change mostly in my job. When I am interviewing people, I talk to them about change because it is such a big part of working with a government run program. We talk about the fact you will just learn a new process and then it will change. At times, the change doesn’t seem to make any sense and may even cause more work. But often there is nothing you can do about it (at least for the time being). I ask them how they handle change. Does it make them cynical? Do they bad mouth the people who instituted the change? Do they jump in and get people all worked up about it? Or can they step back from it, think about it rationally (even if they don’t agree with it or it is going to make life a little harder) and embrace it?

I’m not really a fan of extremes, when it comes to how people deal with change or really anything in life for that matter! For the most part I think we do better living somewhere in the middle! I tell my kids all the time, can you eat foods that are unhealthy for you? Yes! Should you eat the whole bag of cookies, No! Is it ok every now and then to have a cookie or two, absolutely! I know that seems pretty simplistic, but I believe that most often in life it is the simple answer that we should look for!

Change in the workplace is one thing, but when it impacts our personal lives that is something completely different right? We want things to go smoothly in our personal life! Most of the time we work hard to get things set up the way we want them. We go to college, get a job, get married, buy a house, have 2 kids (a boy and a girl of course), find hobbies that we love, find a church and surround ourselves with people that we like and who for the most part believe like we do – and we just live! That’s the goal right? Once we have gotten there, life is what it should be right? But what happens when there is a change? What happens when that job falls apart and we have to find something else? What happens when a spouse decides that she really isn’t the one for him anymore? What happens when a friend changes their views on things and starts to pull away from you? Well, let’s be honest, that is change that we want to stomp our feet at and scream at the top of our lungs about. Change in policies at work, sure I can do that! But losing my job, my marriage, my best friend? Well that just sucks!

The reality is this: change in life is inevitable. It’s going to happen! Sometimes it will be change that we bring on ourselves and other times it will be something that happens to us. I have had many times in my life where change has happened to me! I didn’t want it, I didn’t like it and yes I may have stomped my feet like a 2 year old at times.

This time I am the one bringing on the change upon myself. We looked for it, sought it out and chose the path we’re now on. It just seemed like the right time to take that step. Does that make it easy for those in our life? Nope, not at all! I actually think it may make it harder! If we didn’t have a choice in it, then you can blame all of the emotions on someone/something else. But when all of the emotions come to the surface, there is no one to blame but us!

It has been a hard road at times with some of the people we love most in this world. There have been hurt feelings on both sides and many tears shed (at least by me)! The emotions may have been extreme in moments, but what I am thankful for is that none of us are willing to live there! We may have all stomped our feet in the beginning, but slowly we are beginning to embrace it. I am hoping that once family and friends come visit Southern California that they will actually be thankful that we moved there 🙂 I know that is simplistic, but here’s to hoping that the simple answer wins out in the end!